As I mentioned yesterday, my Taylor Swift post was written before the release of her video for “I Bet You Think About Me”, a song from the vault that was included onRed (Taylor’s Version), directed by Blake Lively and widely believed to be about Jake Gyllenhaal. Since almost every other song on the album is rumoured to be about him and, at this point, if it’s not about him, well, I feel like she’d be saying something to suggest otherwise because Jake is eating a lot of sh-t. It’s him, OK. It’s him.

So if you haven’t seen it, here it is – Taylor is playing herself, and she and Blake decided to cast Miles Teller to play Jake:

It’s customary where Taylor is concerned to jam her videos with all kinds of Easter eggs for her fans to hunt down. If you’re into that sh-t, ELLEhas a list of the eggs here. I’m here to talk about the hilariously brilliant casting of Miles Teller. Miles is the guy in the song who wears “organic shoes” with the “million-dollar couch”. Previously we learned, in “All Too Well” that he might also have a “F-ck the Patriarchy” keychain. Andwhile I wrote yesterdaythat I thought it might be the ultimate magic trick for Taylor and Blake to cast Jake to play himself, to put an emphatic “period, the end” on this gossip saga, seeing as Jake and Ryan Reynolds are friends, or were friends, because we don’t know how their friendship might be or might have been affected by this Taylor grudge, this is not the way it worked out. So we’re getting the next best thing – Miles as Jake, and the reason this is so funny, at least to me, is because, well, you’ve heard of Miles’s reputation, right?

Taylor and Blake didn’t cast a “good guy” in the role. They cast a dude who’s known to be a douchebag. That may not be a fair assessment of Miles Teller, but that’s the reputation he’s had for years online, after that infamous Esquire article in 2015. Written by Anna Peele, the first line reads as follows:

“你坐在对面英里出纳员at the Luminary restaurant in Atlanta and trying to figure out if he's a dick.”

As far as celebrity profile opening sentences go, that sentence is its own legend. And the whole piece of full of examples of Miles being a dick and a douchebag. That’s the baggage that Miles carries around, and again, maybe that’s baggage that he’s been unfairly shouldering, but Miles Teller (and Ansel Elgort too) isn’t exactly popular with the public. Not in the way that Jake Gyllenhaal, generally, is warmly embraced by the public… that is, when Taylor Swift isn’t f-cking with him.

So no, Taylor and Blake didn’t cast a Jake Gyllenhaal type (sense of humour, cute bromances) to play Jake Gyllenhaal, they cast that guy that gives people the “ughs”, LOL. Like, I’m not sure if Miles appreciates that read, but it’s not like he doesn’t get the meaning behind the song. Whatever you think of him, dick or not, he’s a good actor, and his opening line in the video, “I thought, wowza, that is the most beautiful girl in the world”…. WOWZA!

Taylor has never been subtle. From the moment we meet the male lead in “I Bet You Think About Me” we’re being told that he’s the kind of dude who says sh-t like “wowza”. We’re laughing at him, not because he’s adorable and weird (a quick search on YouTube will reveal many “Jake G being adorable and weird!” videos) but because he’s that asshole, that’s what we’re dealing with here.

And the timing!

Jake’s been out a lot lately, supporting Maggie Gyllenhaal’sThe Lost Daughter,and his own projects, including an upcoming Michael Bay movie,Ambulance,which is due out in February. Which means he’ll be doing some press soon for promotion. As you can imagine, the social media about Jake the last few days as been…well… exactly how you would imagine. Even from family members:

The original album,Red, came out nine years ago. It’s been a long time since people talked about Taylor and Jake. And now, after almost a decade, their romance and breakup is back in gossip headlines. If he wants to blame anyone, would it be Scott Borchetta and Scooter Braun?!