In what can only be described as a “PR nightmare”,The Hollywood Reporteris saying that Ben Affleck’s tenure as Batman is coming to a premature end and he will be phased out of the DC Extended Universe. We’ll talk more about it next week, in the context of their (now totally f*cked) Comic-Con coverage. For now, let’s focus on the report itself because IT IS THE SHADIEST. It’s so shady it resides at 2701 Shady Oak Lane, Bitchville, CA, population: Kim Masters and her DC source(s). This is a masterpiece of shade. Masters writes,“…Affleck will turn 45 in August, so he would be pushing 50 beforeThe Batmanarrives in theaters. If [Matt] Reeves makes a trilogy, Affleck would be in his mid-50s at best by the time that’s done. Maybe Tom Cruise could pull that off, but Affleck’s body hasn’t exactly been a temple.”

HIS BODY HASN’T EXACTLY BEEN A TEMPLE.

She is straight-up saying Ben Affleck is too out of shape to play Batman. His age isn’t so much a problem, because as she notes, RDJ is 52 and still doing fine as Iron Man. (Granted, that role is less physical.) But the new director of the stand-alone Batman movie, Matt Reeves, is planning a trilogy and, according to Kim Masters and her PhD in shade, Ben Affleck isn’t capable of taking care of himself well enough to go the distance. Ya burnt, Ben. Ya burnt like bad toast.

Last year, Ben Affleck was rising as a creative force at DC Films, getting on board Justice League as an执行制片人, forming part of the cabal of producers meant to rein in Zack Snyder’s (terrible) creative decisions, and he was going to make and star in a standalone Batman movie. But then earlier this year hebacked out of directing, and just last week, Matt Reeves announced he wasscrapping Affleck’s scriptand starting over.

When that script news broke, I texted Lainey, “What are the odds Affleck doesn’t even end up playing Batman?” And she responded that he would “hang onto Batman” because of his midlife crisis, that “Batman is his masculinity.” So what does it mean for Affleck’s masculinity if he’s dismissed from the role after only two (featured) performances? And how bad can this press get, without Jennifer Garner around to manage it? We’ve seen what a f*cking disaster his Lindsay Shookus roll out has been. Now he has to manage a career crisis. And maybe deal with whoever fired this torpedo? Seriously—the timing is IMPECCABLE if your goal is to ruin Affleck’s Comic-Con weekend. We haven’t heard from Chrissy O in a long time, is all I’m saying.