我已经在网站上使用的某些短语和表达方式多年了，如果我可能会自我放纵一分钟，我很自豪地为品牌贴上烙印。一些例子：小型货车多数，女孩sh-t是最好的sh-t（我的朋友拉拉被盗），巧合或阴谋？当他们两个或多个聚在一起时，我喜欢它。今天是那些日子之一。泰勒·斯威夫特（Taylor Swift）和凯蒂·佩里（Katy Perry）同时给我们的女孩Sh-t和巧合或阴谋。

凯蒂·佩里（Katy Perry）’s new album,Witness，昨晚发行。昨天她的采访与NMEwas being widely circulated because she once again had sh-t to say aboutTaylor Swift。Previously Katy talked about Taylor与詹姆斯·科登（James Corden）。当被问及为什么她决定开放他们的牛肉时，这就是她的解释：

“Well, James Corden makes me and the whole world feel very safe,” she says. “No one has asked me about my side of the story, and there are three sides of every story: one, two and the truth.” It means it’s difficult to be a Katycat and a Swiftie. Isn’t that against the message of fan-group unity she recently posted? “I said that but, I mean, I’m not Buddha – things irritate me,” she says. “I wish that I could turn the other cheek every single time, but I’m also not a pushover, you know? Especially when someone tries to assassinate my character with little girls. That’s so messed up!”

Before we continue, can we just agree that there are no sides here? That the only side to take in all of this is the side of Good Gossip? I’m not interested in the conversation about whose team to be on. I’m interested in how these two are trying to game each other – and who’s doing it better from round to round. Because this is the celebrity cage match of our time.

For weeks, maybe even months now, Katy Perry’s been hustling her new music, this new album. Katy Perry has put out some great songs in the past, irresistible bangers that you can’t get away from on the radio. Just as an example, when I first heardDark Horse? I remembered it right away. I will never forget my favourite line from that song, “so you want to play with magic”. But if you asked me to hum the chorus ofBon Appetit,I’d just hand over the money because there’s no point in trying, I’ve lost the bet. The first reviews ofWitnessare pretty medium. No one is saying it sucks but it’s not lighting anyone on fire either. AsVariety notes:

我们在这里没有的是整个美国都会说的那种明显的粉碎：宝贝，你是烟花。但是，这张专辑至少是烟火的 - 夏季，您手中握着的那种持续了45秒，即使不是持久的，内心的玛丽莲（Marilyn）。

Still, for an artist like Katy Perry, with such an established fanbase, reviews might not matter. An album can sell even if the critics don’t love it. And Katy Perry has been trying to sell it hard. This is where Taylor Swift comes in though. The loudest blasts of publicity, the most notable headlines about Katy Perry’sWitness，涉及泰勒·斯威夫特。那么，您可能会说，她与泰勒·斯威夫特（Taylor Swift）的销售策略中的一部分成为了争执。这就是为什么对我来说，这毫无意义，就像“我和凯蒂在一起！我讨厌泰勒！”因为它们既琐碎又操纵，就像F-CK一样。

So. Now that we’ve established that Katy has used Taylor on herWitnesspress tour, it was only a matter of time before Taylor answered back. Taylor’s new album, however, isn’t ready. Instead, she’s using old work to clap back. Katy droppedWitness昨夜。昨晚，这发生了：


Coincidence or Conspiracy?

PLEASE.

The most abject Taylor Swift fans might try to convince themselves that Taylor wouldn’t have known about Katy’s album release or they might claim that it was Taylor’s team that made the decision but both of those rationalisations don’t hold up because Taylor Swift OF COURSE WOULD KNOW that Katy Perry’sWitnesswas coming and, also, Taylor Swift has told us how many f-cking times that she’s the boss of Taylor Swift so no one’s managing her return to streaming and the timing of Taylor’s return to streaming but Taylor Swift her-goddamn-self. Pretending ignorance helps no one. The only way to read this is that it was intentional. With an intentional message:

Your NEW work vs my OLD work, let’s rumble.

Which is why I’m living for this. This is Taylor being like, oh, you brought your brand new car with the Stark Industries engine to the race? Yeah, ok, let me just dust off this old classic from a few years ago in my garage and we’ll see if you can blow past me on the first turn.

抱歉，这很棒。非常适合八卦。lol赛事中心如果您喜欢一个好的老式名人投掷，那么这就是您想要的。我的意思是，如果您一直都需要什么，为什么您甚至在这个聚会上都参加？

The other reason this is great is because it’s great for Taylor Swift, the business. If she is readying a new album in the fall, which is what everyone is expecting, there’s no way she can afford to continue to not allow her work to be streamed. It’s impossible now. She resisted it to her advantage before and it’s to her advantage presently to re-engage with streaming platforms after making her point. Doing so at this moment allows her catalogue to act as a pre-publicity momentum build before she comes in with an updated product, presumably in a couple of months while, at the same time, stabbing her nemesis in the back. So, basically, this is a multipurpose move – there’s a professional benefit and a personal bonus.

泰勒·斯威夫特（Taylor Swift）发表了挑战。凯蒂·佩里（Katy Perry）必须回答这一挑战。Witnesshas to answer that challenge.Witnesswill likely debut at #1. But will it be a big enough #1? A big enough #1 that’ll be a counterpunch to Taylor’s low blow?

这让我想起了Wonder Woman,当然。因为Wonder Womanis the template for life right now. Antiope to Diana during training:

“您希望一场战斗公平。一场战斗永远不会公平。”