心脏B broke up with Offset a couple of weeks ago. Afterwards he made it clear that missed her想要她回来and has evidently turned getting her back into a crusade, stepping up his mission this weekend in the most public way. It started with this, on Friday:

“I was partaking in activities I shouldn’t have been partaking in.”

Like it was a buffet, or something. A sex buffet?

“Partake”, generally, has a positive connotation. We partake in meals, in food and drink, in sports, in fun activities. It’s a shared experience. Is that how we talk about cheating now? In terms of “partaking”? Was it an orgy?

Offset, unfortunately, wasn’t done. On Saturday, during her set at Rolling Loud, Offset showed up on stage, with flowers and cake and signs reading “take me back”:

很明显,很显然,她没有感觉。没有基德ing. He interrupted her AT WORK. She was there to do her job. He decided that he would pause that job to make sure she knew he was sorry. Who’s the main character here? Who’s the priority? Is she the priority? Or is what he has to say the priority AS USUAL.

Afterwards心脏posted a few videos on Instagram, sharing her feelings about what happened, urging people to stop bullying Offset online, looking understandably exhausted and confused. In this one, she seems near tears:

Here too she looks SO frustrated:

后来，她敦促追随者不要攻击她的“婴儿父亲”：

I wrotelast week这不是Cardi和偏移的终结。她听起来并不像结局。他们在一起有一个孩子。他们在一起有生意。想想在她的团队的帮助下，必须安排这个阶段的破坏。她的公关人员是带他出去的人。因此，这是一个复杂的纠缠，无论如何，如果她改变主意，那就是她的决定，那就是她的个人考虑。

My point is to shut down any talk of this being romantic, what he did, what he’s been doing. Because there are those who actually do think it’s romantic what he did. Offset rationalizes it like this:

从某种意义上说，这比偏移大。在许多文化中，这与社会消息传递一样大，这使人们认为这是一个男人在F-Ckked uped时表演的正确范围。奇观是他的热情和诚意的证明，而没有使他真正改变，这很难证明和说明，当然不是在成千上万人面前的音乐会舞台上。这是一个捷径。从那以后，人们就得到了捷径。

What also makes it unromantic is the pressure. In performing his contrition this way, he’s recruiting the public on his side – I’m sorry! I’m showing you I’m sorry in front of all these people! They want you to forgive me too!

Now her decision isn’t her own. Now her decision involves all these strangers who’ve been invited to “partake” in the process of her forgiving him. It’s grossly unfair and manipulative. And there’s also a double standard at play here. Because you know what? If this were a woman hijacking the stage to say sorry, or barging into anyone else’s workplace to publicly ask for forgiveness, think of what the reaction would be. They’d call her crazy. They’d say she was pathetic and desperate. It would make her LESS attractive. She wouldn’t be able to shrug it off like he’s shrugging it off with his “masculinity” intact.

这是一条很好的推文，总结了情况：

The normalization of emotional manipulation is what I’m talking about. The normalization is cultural. It’s all over the culture. Look at the movies. Look at how many times public apologies happen in the movies. One of the most famous examples of it gave us one of the most famous movie lines – two of them, in fact:

“You complete me.”

and…

“You had me at hello.”

At the time, when杰里·马奎尔（Jerry Maguire）came out, weren’t we all swept away by Tom Cruise’s monologue, with his trademark intensity, pushing out his romantic declarations between clenched teeth, a lock of hair falling over his forehead, while the woman sat around, their eyes welling up with tears?

当然。

But if you really unpack the story, Dorothy gave up her entire life on a risk to be with Jerry. He married her because he felt sorry for her. Then he ignored her, went on the road, refused to actually “partake” in their marriage. Until Rod scores a touchdown and does a dance in the end zone and Jerry’s on a plane, crashing Dorothy’s girls’ night, because he needs to tell her, on his time, when he was good and ready, that she’s the one.

And that’s the kind of guy we decided we all needed for ourselves, forgetting the trauma that occurs in order to get there. I mean, sure, it’s just a movie. But is it just a movie? Or is it a scene that keeps replaying in movies and stories that have been sold to us as the ultimate love story to the point where we’ve started believing it as fact?