Gossip has been buck wild lately, all the pent-up energy of the pandemic bursting out with hookups and breakups and “what the f-cks?”

In the latter category is this: the Internet’s best boy John Mulaney and fashion blog nemesis Olivia Munn are dating,per PEOPLE, which broke the story yesterday afternoon.

Apparently, they met at church. But let’s get a little more specific: they reconnected at church because back in 2015, she talked about meeting him and his fiancé (now estranged wife)at a wedding.

The source for PEOPLE is deliberately laying out a story for us here, with details like “This is very new, they're taking it slowly” (well he announced his divorce earlier this week, so it could be a touch slower). There are suspicions that this is a PR play offensive from them (are we about to see the first pap shots of them?), which is why the people are not exactly buying all the details laid out in PEOPLE.

There’s been a lot of chatter on Twitter about the timing of it all. John checked out of rehab in late February. On May 10, John and his wife Anna Marie Tendler announced their divorce. His rep said he was focused on recovery,while through her rep she said, “I am heartbroken that John has decided to end our marriage. I wish him support and success as he continues his recovery.”

That’s pretty deep.“Heartbroken that John has decided to end our marriage”——不需要解释或猜测what that means because it’s a very frank statement, particularly for a celebrity divorce. John decided to end the marriage, per Anna’s direct words.

And just three days later, this story in PEOPLE drops. Three days!!! I have leftovers in my fridge older than that.

This is why social media has been so agog at the announcement. Scandalized. Breathless. And ruthlessly funny. Both Olivia Munn and John Mulaney were trending last night on Twitter.

John spoke about his wife a lot in his standup which is why people have become emotionally attached to them. Immediately after John went to rehab, there was a lot of concern expressed for Anna (who deleted her social media). But what we’re not going to do is blame Olivia Munn for whatever went down here, right? Whatever our feelings about the timing, it’s John’s timing, not hers.

What we can enjoy is the gossip part of it, the start of a new story that could go anywhere. They could break up in a week or be engaged by Labour Day. The chaos and excitement of an unexpected couple is invigorating and a collective social media bonding experience.

It’s also funny how timing works. Though unrelated, we have two big stories this week: one centers around a much-wished-for reconciliation (Bennifer) and the other is a new couple NO ONE saw coming (John and Olivia). This must mean we are careening toward an inevitable conclusion: Ben Affleck and Olivia Munn. That would be a gossip apocalypse.