Maria’s down with a spring flu today so I’m stepping in for her …

And taking advantage of the situation to shamelessly promote myself. Jessica Goldstein came to Toronto to gossip with me for a couple of days in March. And nowshe’s written about why gossip is essential, especially now. Please note that my constant vaping is mentioned, LOL.

Prince Harry is marrying Meghan Markle in 8 days. And Cara Delevingne is marrying herself. I love her wedding bob. But I also love her wedding tux.

I have no idea what a “wrist battle” is. What am I missing here? Would I be good at it? I’m weirdly good at useless sh-t. And wrist-battling sounds like falls right into that category.

Again. These Ellen DeGeneres scare videos. I’m telling you. One day she’s going to do this and someone is going to react how I would react – with terror followed by the instinct to self-protect, which for some people means violence.

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OK but if you’re Chrissy Teigen’s publicist, I can’t imagine you mind when she tweets. Tweeting is Chrissy’s gift. Tom Cruise runs and they pay him lots of money to be in movies where he’s running. Chrissy Teigen tweets. And it is one of her best assets.

贾斯汀·比伯,过去一年,他的样子given up on style. And now he’s trying to say that he cares about an outfit. Which… I mean, yeah, I guess you could say that this era of JB has a certain aesthetic. Burnout aesthetic?

ALL OF OUR DREAMS COME TRUE. We all need this to happen. Nobody cares about Matt and Ben anymore. Letitia Wright and Zendaya – give them a podcast, a spread in Vogue. OH MY GOD, what would happen if they collaborated on a fashion line?