Last week, Prince William and Catherine were the royal heatscores, with rumours coming out of the English countryside about how Kate and Rose Hanbury, the Marchioness of Cholmondeley, are no longer friends and Beckham-like speculation about the real – and possibly dirty –reason behind the breakupsince everybody seemed to be reporting around the friend-split without actually saying WHY the two are, supposedly, not hanging out anymore. Richard Kaywrote a defensive pro-Cambridge piece for The Daily Mailbut the UK tabloids and their gossips, as you would expect, were trying to sniff it out. So far, though, even after the weekend, there’s been no follow-up. Which is kind of amazing, because you know how they work over there in England. Even when they’re on a story that’s full of sh-t, the Beckhams for example, they’ll milk whatever they can out of it. Last year, when all that Beckham business blew up, based on totally unqualified random posts on social media, even though, as we know now, the Beckhams were most definitely not on the verge of an imminent split, there was article after article published daily about their marriage, about how they live different lives, about Victoria disapproving of David’s friendships. As we’ve seen, they do the same with Meghan Markle. They can create 40 stories out of a non-story about Meghan Markle.

Which is why the no gossip about the Cambridges is the gossip.

This weekend there was nothing in the papers about the Turnip Toff throwdown. But, naturally, there were several unflattering stories about Royal Meghan. According to the Daily Mail, Prince Charlestold her to stand downwhen she wanted to wear a tiara for an event in Fiji during the Sussex tour last fall. And something something abouthow much she spends on clothes.

OK wait. So English media are talking underground about the possibility of Prince William having an alleged affair with a member of the Turnip aristocracy and… we’re getting reporting on Meghan’s tiara and clothing budget, REALLY?! How can the English press continue to deny that there’s a bias against Meghan Markle?! If the same Turnip Toff rumours were being spread about Meghan Markle, true or not, and ESPECIALLY if it were not, it would be on the front page of The Sun every goddamn day!

Needless to say, Prince William can wield a certain amount of influence. Of course he would want to shut this sh-t down, the whole thing is super embarrassing. But the gossip here is that it seems like they’re giving him that courtesy and that this courtesy seems to be selective. Which is why, if you’re a Meghan Markle stan, you’re leaning towards a conspiracy. Last week, Tatler published what many interpreted as an unflattering article about “Meghanomania”. The editor of Tatler just happens to be an old schoolmate of Kate’s. That certainly fuels the conspiracy theories that Will and Kate are rather enjoying the fact that Meghan’s getting a rough ride. And this latest Twitter thread pointing out more media connections doesn’t help:

I don’t buy that the angle that Will and Kate are actively encouraging the hit pieces against Meghan. I am unwilling to believe that the Cambridges would do that to their kin. That said, William understands the machinations of the royal courtiers and how they worked in the past, colluding often with the media, to undermine his mother. He has tried to protect his wife against the same. He must see that it’s also happening to his sister-in-law. Will he flex his influence for his brother and his brother’s wife the way he has to be flexing now, with this Turnip drama? Or, you know, is the Turnip drama such a drama that it’s taken all he can to contain it?